Ytd played an game wif xmm and leon on the phone , loser will have to give 10k cash =x luckily i didnt lose . After a while , xmm hang - up . I and leon continue to chat until 2.30am and i went to sleep =x Woke up at 11.45am today =x After that , online msn . Xmm ask me want meet they all mahs , i agreed . Leon came to my house at 1+pm , slack awhile and proceede to hgm . When we reach there , they were at zarinar house . bo bian lor , wait for them at library . =x When they arrived , we walked up to arcade , see see , move move , talk talk , laugh laugh . Then walk out and proceede to the corner outside the arcade . No much mood =x But leon was like disturbing passer by , so i joined him and faked a smile (: After that , they all say wanna go leon house , i got no mood , so didnt wished to go . Leon keep persuading me to go , but end up , i went home . i know i m a pangsehkia =x sorry . And i dun have much mood either =x On the bus , near serangoon sec , saw eamonn and his stead . Chat chat until punggol and the alight , i fell down at the supermarket there . so suay , so many ppl were like staring at me , i abit paiseh =x Reached home , dingchao called me and told me that he has free ticket for movie , and he asked me to jio ppl go . So i went to msn and ask leon . Leon first reaction was kp me , kinda no mood , so i flamed back without vulgarities as im learning the " art of speaking " . After that , i ask him wan go mahs , he dao me . So i told him nvm suah . After that , i login again , and he spammed me 2 nudge , i replied " what " . But there was no reply . After that , i logg-ed off my mum maple 's character . She jitao shout at me , as i m not in the right state of mind , i rattled vulgarities like the bullets of machine gun at her , and she was quite pissed off too . Haix my life totally sucks . No mood . Gonna bath soon . Thats all for now .
my thoughts
"U have showed me the meaning of lonely . Why i cant be there where you were ? i hate this feeling . im bewteen saddness n lonelyness . i have completely given up on my useless soul . Suffering alone in silence with an faked smile . No one knows how i feel . Sometimes , i really feel like ending my worthless life , and stop being a burden to my family as well as to my friends . Theres something missing in my heart , i lack the courage to live on . Without you by my side , its like an farmer with a piece of land without any crops . You are always on my mind , why did u leave me to die alone ? Perhaps it would be better if everyone think that im dead . Perhaps its time for me to exist from this cruel n lonely world . I have surrender my heart , body n soul ."
